Wholefoods

People in Wholefoods are crazy. This is not necessarily a new discovery but it is affirmed anew almost every time I go. Despite the fact that I have told myself I should never go there (I always spend way to much money on some delicious looking item) I inevitably end up there a few times a month, usually picking up something small, as they are on my way home from work. On this evening in question I decided I wanted beer; I debated my options, convenience store near my house - fine, but I feel I might be reaching the limit that I can go there alone to just buy beer, liquor store across the street - I don't care what they think but the guy who runs it is super sketch, wholefoods - awesome, but I hesitated for above stated reasons. At the last minute I gave in to my lesser instincts and drove myself to wholefoods. I quickly rationalized this choice by saying that I would also buy avocados for my lunch tomorrow. So, in the store I realize I can't just buy beer and avocados without seeming insane, clearly I spend too much time thinking about what checkout people will think of my purchases, so I add rolls to the list.

With a somewhat respectable shopping list I start navigating the store. This is difficult for many reasons. One this store is small, but the main reason is that this particular store (perhaps most in LA are this way), is always filled with botoxed, xanax popping, los angeles housewives who wander the aisles arbitrarily pushing their carts into peoples way (and bodies) all while searching for some organic, low-fat, sugar free, gluten free frozen yogurt that is now a staple item in the new diet they are on this week. Add in the few hippies that are left in the valley and you have yourself a mess. Also, I can say with a good amount of certainty that I have heard more people talk to themselves here than anywhere else on earth. Example: while leaving I walked past a woman, she appeared very normal, pushing a shopping cart into the store, as I walked past her she said something to the effect of "oh yes, that's right" I looked for a bluetooth as that is often a reason that I prematurely cast people as crazy - nothing, I looked closer as these thing can be pretty tiny, nope - bitch was just crazy. This was confirmed as I heard her mumble off things while walking into the store.

Moral of this story is that Wholefoods seems to be the gathering place of highly functional crazy people, who most likely are reasonably well off (gluten free frozen yogurt does not come cheap my friends). Though writing this article has made me realize that I should not really be judging given the neurotic beginnings that brought me to Wholefoods tonight.