NASCAR's Secret

Scene: I am at the gas station, getting gas. My car is very dirty (this is often the case).

Random guy with Nascar shirt: Hello there, I'd like to share with you Nascar's secret for cleaning your car. Please, allow me to give you a free demo of this product.

Me: ::kinda nod ok::

Guy: ::Sprays window with magical cleaning product:: See how it quickly removes the dirt. Is that tree sap?

Me: yeah, I think so.

Guy: ::cleaning window:: So I'm assuming you park your car outside.

Me: ::impatiently waiting for gas to pump:: Yeah.

Guy: See look how clean that looks and it's smudge proof. ::runs fingers over window:: Now we can move onto the door. You just spray a little foam here and rub. ::rubbing at door - not much dirt is coming off:: Well when you car is extra dirty like this you need a little more. ::sprays more foam - keeps rubbing::

Me: ::really wondering what the hell is taking this gas so long to pump:: Yeah, sorry, it's been awhile since I had a car wash.

Guy: I can see that. It's really dirty.

Me: ::sweet jesus it's finished pumping:: Yeah.

Guy: It also takes out scratches ::starts to spray magic foam on a few little scratches:: You know if you leave all this dirt on here for long it will start to eat away at the clear coat and then the paint.

Me: :: moving closer to the drivers side door but the guy is blocking my way:: Yeah, I've heard that before.

Guy: ::getting the hint:: As I said this is a nascar secret and it normally goes for $25 a can but today we will throw in an additional can for...

Me: That's very interesting but it's not really something I'm interested in. ::moving closer to car door::

Guy: ::knowing this must have been inevitable:: Well, thanks for your time.

Me: Thank you ::get in car and shut door::

Frankly, I think his first mistake was approaching the girl with by far the dirtiest car in the place - maybe he was trying to prove a point. He wanted a challenge. But clearly if I don't pay $10 for someone else to wash my car I'm not gonna pay $25 for some foam that I have to use myself.

"Dear John, you have pushed me too far."

This weekend I realized I have to make a change. I have let myself get out of control and it's not ok. I need to stop watching TV. Now.

The event that brought this harsh reality to light was not technically speaking tv, as it was a movie but it fell into the same general category of most things I watch on tv - being that is was something I did not actually have any desire to see. I think it was the shear stupidity and shameful time wasting that really caused me to see what I had allowed to happen. It's easy to waste an hour here and 30 minutes there watching some stupid show because you are too lazy to get up and do anything productive but on Saturday night I sent two hours watching 'Dear John'. That shit is not acceptable. Not only was it a horrible movie (shocker), I knew it was going to be a horrible movie and I watched it anyway. I somehow convinced myself that that was an ok use of two hours of my life. This needs to stop.

So, I have decided that I need to set a limit on my weekly television time - I feel like I'm eight. But it needs to happen. I have mental list on top of mental list of things I should be doing with my time and somehow I end up just watching tv / equally bad movies. No More. Starting today, Monday, I am going to limit myself to 4 hours of frivolous tv watching a week. I don't include in this movies I actually want to watch that are on my netflix - though the time I spend a month actually watching these is usually minimal. This number is just a starting point and I may lower it after time if it seems like still too much.

Hopefully this will get me started on my mental to-do lists.

Update (and original story)

I realized I never posted this story from last month. It involves crazy neighbor featured in the iphone incident. Below is the letter I gave to our building manager. Enjoy!



May 12th, 2010


To the building manager of xxxx Woodman Ave:


I wanted to make you aware of an incident that occurred the morning of May 12th. At 1am my roommate, Sherri, woke me up to let me know that the woman who lives in unit xxx was out in the hallway screaming and crying for someone to help her. My roommate informed me that this had been going on for awhile and that she had earlier pounded on our door. At this point I went out into the hallway to see what the issue might be. I found the woman very intoxicated and incoherent. She was yelling that her boyfriend had stolen her jewelry and that we needed to call the police. At this point Sherri was placing a call to 911 as the woman was hysterical and showed no signs of calming down. While I was speaking with her she feel over and continued to scream. I informed her that my roommate had called the police and that they would be coming to talk to her, she continued to talk about how we had to do something to help her. She then got back up and went into her apartment. I continued to hear the sounds of her screaming along with banging and crashing noises.
About 15 minutes later the police arrived at the building – they walked up to her unit as she was yelling something to the affect of “Don’t worry, I won’t kill you, just tell me what you did”. At this point I was not aware if her boyfriend might have still been in the apartment and as I had heard some very heated arguments between them my fear was that the situation might get violent. We spoke briefly with the officers letting them know what we knew of the situation while they attempted to gain access to her apartment. At one point she opened the door but must have had a knife in her hands as the officers had their weapons out and were yelling at her to put down the knife. At this point Sherri and I returned to our apartment. Approximately 30 minutes later an office returned to let us know that while she was very drunk there was nothing they could do as she was inside her apartment, her boyfriend was not there and they did not think she was a threat to herself. She had informed them that her boyfriend has left her and that that was the cause of her emotional state. The officers told her numerous times that she needed to be quiet or that they might have to remove her from the building. She had not however quieted down and I continued to hear her loudly yelling. After about another 30 minutes, and the arrival of an EMT unit we could see that the officers did end up removing her from the building. I’m not sure the outcome after this point as the officers left the building.

I felt it was important, if you did not already know, that the management be informed of this situation.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need more information regarding the incident.


Jane & Sherri


Unit xxx



I never heard anything from management after this. I saw the neighbor on occasion, though I tried to avoid her as I was not looking forward to that awkward, hey I called the cops on you, elevator conversation. She seemed to have quieted down - for the time being - so I kinda forgot about her.

UPDATE

Crazy neighbor has moved out. I'm not sure if this was voluntary or if my management company took some action but when I got back from the long weekend (more on this later) yesterday her apartment had a for rent sign on it.

I wish you well crazy neighbor - from what I've seen of your life you are going to need it.