math + me = :(

All I have done is briefly look at practice GRE tests online and I'm already having nightmares about the math. I literally had a bad dream about the math section of the GRE, after which I woke up very stressed and sure of all future failure. So, I have calmed down a little since then but I have not yet been able to bring myself to actually do the practice test that I printed out.

This is going to be intersting.

Alright LA fitness tonight you shall not win, tonight you shall not get the better of me. Though I suppose it's my laziness that gets the better of me since whenever I go to the gym it's not that bad.

My goal is to someday not need to spend the entire day talking myself into the gym. Perhaps that's asking too much though. Alright off to make this dream a reality.

{meow}

My roommates cats are plotting my death. When Sherri is out of town they spend their nights thinking of ways to off me. This is nothing new, every time she goes out of town I end up leaving my door open so they won't cry. At first I thought that this was because they wanted to be near me or were used to sleeping with someone around. I realize now it's so they can enact their various plans of attack. Last night was my first night alone with them in awhile and they attempted to kill me with sleep deprivation. They alternated walked over my legs all night, meowing randomly around my room (and trust me they are loud), jumping up on my window sill while knocking as much stuff over as possible, along with sleeping by my face in such a way that their tails flicked my face every few second.

Now we all know cats are prone to such behavior just to entertain themselves, I however know they are doing this in the pursuit of my death because every once and awhile I would look up and see one of them watching me. Just sitting there staring at me, perhaps watching to see if I was still breathing. This morning when they realized I had made it through the night I could see them hatching a new plan for tonight. I wonder what it will be, my bet is on suffocation.

hehe

From Jezebel: "Free People: For March, The Ugliest Shoes & Clothes to Match"

Wholefoods

People in Wholefoods are crazy. This is not necessarily a new discovery but it is affirmed anew almost every time I go. Despite the fact that I have told myself I should never go there (I always spend way to much money on some delicious looking item) I inevitably end up there a few times a month, usually picking up something small, as they are on my way home from work. On this evening in question I decided I wanted beer; I debated my options, convenience store near my house - fine, but I feel I might be reaching the limit that I can go there alone to just buy beer, liquor store across the street - I don't care what they think but the guy who runs it is super sketch, wholefoods - awesome, but I hesitated for above stated reasons. At the last minute I gave in to my lesser instincts and drove myself to wholefoods. I quickly rationalized this choice by saying that I would also buy avocados for my lunch tomorrow. So, in the store I realize I can't just buy beer and avocados without seeming insane, clearly I spend too much time thinking about what checkout people will think of my purchases, so I add rolls to the list.

With a somewhat respectable shopping list I start navigating the store. This is difficult for many reasons. One this store is small, but the main reason is that this particular store (perhaps most in LA are this way), is always filled with botoxed, xanax popping, los angeles housewives who wander the aisles arbitrarily pushing their carts into peoples way (and bodies) all while searching for some organic, low-fat, sugar free, gluten free frozen yogurt that is now a staple item in the new diet they are on this week. Add in the few hippies that are left in the valley and you have yourself a mess. Also, I can say with a good amount of certainty that I have heard more people talk to themselves here than anywhere else on earth. Example: while leaving I walked past a woman, she appeared very normal, pushing a shopping cart into the store, as I walked past her she said something to the effect of "oh yes, that's right" I looked for a bluetooth as that is often a reason that I prematurely cast people as crazy - nothing, I looked closer as these thing can be pretty tiny, nope - bitch was just crazy. This was confirmed as I heard her mumble off things while walking into the store.

Moral of this story is that Wholefoods seems to be the gathering place of highly functional crazy people, who most likely are reasonably well off (gluten free frozen yogurt does not come cheap my friends). Though writing this article has made me realize that I should not really be judging given the neurotic beginnings that brought me to Wholefoods tonight.

pics

I updated my flickr...check it.

wow...

On my way home from work I usually listen to Fresh Air, the NPR program hosted by Terry Gross, earlier this week I caught part of her interview with Karl Rove. I knew when I heard that Rove was going to be her guest that it was gonna get interesting, I did not anticipate me spending much of my commute yelling and gesturing angrily at my car radio (though to be honest I guess I should have). As my drive home is usually only about 20 minutes I did not get to listen to the end and as I am apparently a gluten for punishment (and high blood pressure) I went online and found a transcipt so I could see what I had missed. I have linked the transcipt and the recorded version for your reading/listening pleasure. I realize it's long and rage inducing but if you have any desire to listen to the voice of complete deception check it out!

For those not interested in reading the whole thing I have kindly supplied you with some of my favorite bits:

GROSS: Michael Isikoff, in April of 2001, described George W. Bush as the least experienced presidential nominee of modern times. He says it was Rove who shaped the agenda, message and strategy that got Bush, the least experienced presidential nominee of modern times, into the White House. Do you agree that he was the least experienced presidential nominee of modern times? And if you agree, was that a plus for you?

Mr. ROVE: I don't agree. Jimmy Carter had served one term as governor of Georgia. George W. Bush at least was in his second term when he ran. George W. Bush had run a baseball club. He'd been in the oil business. He put together big deals. He'd been part of his father's presidential campaign. He had knowledge of politics that was pretty good.
And look, he certainly had more political experience than a, you know, Democrat state senator from Illinois who was in the middle of his first term for the United States Senate. I mean, Bush had run a big state. He was the governor of the second most populous state in the union.

...

Mr. ROVE: Bush contrived the agenda. In fact, I talked about this in the book. This is what was so attractive of him as a candidate. He had a clear understanding of why he wanted to run. He wanted to reform education. He wanted to reform the juvenile justice system. He wanted to reform welfare. He had thought, over the years, about ways in which he could do it. The number issue for him was education, and how do you have an accountability system that sets goals and standards and holds schools to account for failure.

...

GROSS: Let me read something that Todd Purdum wrote in Vanity Fair in December of 2006. He described an approach of campaigning that always found villains -gays, unions, trial lawyers, liberals, elitists, terrorists - and that candidates could both use this to crack the electorate at a vulnerable spot and to define themselves in sharp relief.
Do you feel like that's what you did, that you found villains that you could use in campaigns: gays, unions, trial lawyers, liberals, elitists, terrorists?

Mr. ROVE: Yeah, he ends the article by saying splitter - Rove is the splitter, and splitters never win. Well, he may be right that splitters never win, but I won. So what does that say about Todd Purdum's underlying argument?

...

GROSS: One of your goals, I think - particularly in the 2004 election - was to mobilize the evangelical vote, to mobilize the Christian right. And one of their...

Mr. ROVE: I'd say evangelicals. I disagree with your idea that there is a Christian right. In fact, the point I make in the book - which, you know, I hope people will read in its entirety - is that the view of evangelicals as a highly political, highly motivated, philosophically conservative, you know, with a well-organized, coherent framework to approach politics is wrong.

...

Mr. ROVE: You know what? You got a good quote there from Cheney, but I could give you quotes from Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Bob Graham, John Kerry, John Edwards, Jay Rockefeller, even Ted Kennedy, who opposed the use of war - the authorization of the use of force resolution, nonetheless went out a couple of days later and said Saddam has weapons of mass destruction.
You know, Barbara Boxer, who opposed it, said Saddam has WMD. This was a widespread consensus that was believed by a lot of people. In fact, of the 110 Democrats who vote for the war resolution, I think it is 60 or 76 of them - 67 of them stand up on the floor of the House or Senate and say, Saddam has WMD. So this is a widespread consensus by opponents of the war and by supporters.

GROSS: That consensus was based on information provided by the Bush administration about weapons of mass destruction.

Mr. ROVE: No, that's incorrect.


I could go on but I won't. The most striking thing to me is the ease in which Karl Rove lies. And though you could argue that George Bush was an idiot or somewhat delusional and actually believed what he was doing was right and in the best interest of the most people I don't for a minute feel that way about Rove. He is a very smart man and an astute politician, he knew exactly what he was doing. To go back to the quote "Rove is the splitter, and splitters never win. Well, he may be right that splitters never win, but I won. So what does that say about Todd Purdum's underlying argument?". I think the question is what does that say about America because we did let Rove win.

Irish Soda Bread: The quest continues

It would seem that for most of my life I took this food item for granted. Delicious Irish Soda bread was available in most any store around St. Patrick's day and served at all local St. Patty's day dinners. Though I'm sure the recipes varied slightly from one to the other, it followed a general set of rules; not to dense not too airy, a little sweet but just barely, raisins, baking soda, caraway seeds (this is optional), delicious (this is not). Ok, so I admit that I have never actually made Irish Soda bread (I did not need to seeing how available it was) but I do have a good sense of what it should taste like. LA, however, has no idea. This is the third St. Patrick's day in a row that I have attempted to find something comparable to what I have had on the east coast and this is the third year where I have failed.

The first yeah I ended up getting a loaf from Ralphs, a large chain grocery store. I knew it was not going to be right from appearance alone, not at all crusty enough and covered in granulated sugar (?!?!). When I got it home and tried it I knew I had made a mistake. This was almost nothing like what I know Irish Soda bread to be. It was very soft and airy, no raisins and very sweet. It was ok, if you removed any idea of Irish Soda bread from your mind while eating it, but it was far from good. Year two of the quest I took a step in the right direction, the loaf I found was close the correct texture, had raisins but it was still not right and still covered in sugar. This one was good but not the same nonetheless. This year, however, was a total bust. Refusing to go back to either of those places I went instead to Wholefoods, I had seen some there a week earlier and it looked right (no granulated sugar). Yesterday though when I was there it seemed they had all sold out - I will never know if this Wholefoods Irish Soda bread was the one I had been searching for this whole time; that's what I get for waiting until St. Patrick's day I suppose.

I have come to the conclusion though, that I just need to make my own; now off to look through recipes online and find one that seems to describe what I am searching for.

Earth. Quake.

I realize this is the second post where I am just linking an article / site and it might seem that I am being lazy. This article however, explains why I am mentally unable to formulate an adequate post at this time. As the little sleep I was going to get last night was disturbed by LA's favorite natural phenomenon.

The internet is just a treasure trove of goodness.

This one made me giggle aloud at work.

Weekend Itinerary

Rachel is coming to visit me this weekend. Our itinerary is below.


Friday Late Afternoon: Pick up Rachel from airport. Drive her through the ghetto on the way home.

Friday Night: Go to Old Town Pasadena for dinner, frozen yogurt, fun.

Saturday Morning: Sunrise yoga.

Saturday a little later Morning: Rachel will make me breakfast in bed. Than we will ready ourselves for bridesmaid madness.

Saturday late morning: Go to jcrew at The Grove and see if we can weasel our way into gettin' at some bridesmaid dresses. Also be on the lookout for MK&A.

Saturday Afternoon: Eat lunch at the Farmers Market. Head back to Pasadena for legit appointment at a bridal store.

Saturday Late Afternoon: Drive back home - look for celebs from car window.

Saturday Evening: Dinner. Jane goes to theatre. Rachel - tbd.

Saturday Later in the Evening: Get coffee for Rachel because she will be tired. PARTY! Possibility of late night taco truck.

Sunday Morning: Brunch. Walk to the mall to buy makeup from The Body Shop.

Sunday Afternoon: Go to the beach.

Sunday Later Afternoon/Early Evening: return from beach (return time is dependant on how cold it is at beach).

Sunday Evening: Dinner - Rachel's treat. After dinner stroll through the neighborhood. Go home go to sleep.

Monday Morning: Wake up and take Rachel the airport :(


* Schedule subject to change without notice.

This is why the Government is Lame

I'm usually not one to rag on the government about its financial mismanagement - at least not in the broad 'look where our tax dollars are going now' kinda way. Yesterday, however, I received a letter in the mail that made me change that policy a little.

The letter begins:

Dear Resident:

About one week from now, you will receive a 2010 Census form in the mail. When you receive your form, please fill it out and mail it in promptly.

It goes on to talk about why the census is important, yada yada. After reading the first sentence thought I was struck with just how dumb this all was. Ok US Government, you really thought it was a good use of money and resources to send a letter, letting people know they were about to get another letter? And these went out to every address in the country. Maybe they just wanted to do a dry run. Or maybe this was some sort of elaborate plan to stimulate the economy. Whatever the (illogical) reason, it's things like this that really build up the reputation of the federal government.

Bitter Post

For those of you who have never worked a menial job, one where you spend your days doing things below your intelligence level I will provide a few examples below of my particular recent experiences.

Note: For anyone not aware, I work in a fairly good sized corporate office in Los Angeles; I am an office assistant/receptionist.

Toner

We live in a modern world. It's hard to imagine that a working professional, with a degree, would need assistance with identifying, locating and installing toner for a basic desk printer. But as it would seem it is clearly a difficult task that involves my advanced knowledge. I have on numerous occasions had to assistant (read: do it for them) people in this basic office task. It usually goes something like this; I receive an email from someone saying their toner is out and that they can't fine more, I respond letting them know where they can locate said toner, they respond again saying they looked but it does not seem to be there, I walk into supply room, find toner right away and bring it to them. There is nothing like having to paint a detailed picture of what a box of toner looks like to make you lose faith in humanity.

Candy

Candy is fairly straight forward thing, it's generally unassuming and easy to handle. I don't think there are many issues in the history of the world that revolve around candy. Of the few that do however, it seems a great number of them take place in my office. We have at the reception desk a bowl of hard candy - just the general stuff, mints, jolly ranchers, caramels, etc. If I had to describe this bowl of candy in one word, given the circumstances, I would say: innocent. But this bowl of candy has been thrown into what I know will be a ridicules discussion that will go on far to long and likely end with little to no resolution, and oh yeah it will be about candy. One of the executives in my office has, for awhile, been suggesting that we get different candy. Apparently they have nothing else to do but think about how the candy selection in the office could be improved - I'm starting to think that I could run a real estate office. So I casually emailed my boss (the office manager) today, saying that this person had suggested that I order a different variety and I just wanted to let her know before I put in the order. This was done as more of a courtesy, as my boss needs to be 'in the loop'. She responds that I should hold off so that she can follow up with the executive to see what specifically she would like to see replaced and what we should order instead. That's right, we need to have a discussion, that will involve higher ups in the company, about which types of hard candy we will be ordering. Who would have thought that Werther's would be such a hot topic

Desk

Some of menial things I do to fill my day are self initiated. I don't have a lot to do, what can I say. Today I spent a part of my afternoon cleaning out the pencil cup on my desk. I discovered that a pen had exploded and now covered most of the pens in a red ink. You might think that the most logical step would be to throw away the pencil cup as they are generally quite cheap, I however chose to clean it. I removed all the pens, washed the cup in the sink and spent a good amount of time cleaning each pen and pencil before I returned it to the cup. Somewhere in this process I was overcome with a feeling of dread as I realized...this is my life. If I ever needed proof that my degree was going to waste, I got just it today.

I heart the Oscars

The day after the Oscars you could spend your time debating the merits of the great films that were nominated and which you believe should have won. Or you can go here and spend your time sending these all your friends.

My favorite:

When is reality inappropriate?

I recently read this article (warning: the images shown in the links in that article are very graphic and disturbing) on npr.com about violence in the World Press Photo Contest and how violent images, of war-torn villages, executions and civil unrest, are often the winners. And not without reason as these images are very powerful and were often taken at great risk to the photographer but as the article questions, when is it too much? When do these images cross the line from giving us a window into a world we don't normally see to showing us something that in many ways is just too horrific. There are lots of issues this debate brings up. Is it exploitative; what are the photographers true motivation in presenting this image? Is it just ignorance on the part of the societies that view these images to be labeling them too violent? Are we too sheltered? Or, is there a point where showing these images truly serves no beneficial purpose?

Since reading the article I have given this topic a lot of thought and for me have decided that there is a point where, yes, it is too much. We should all strive to as educated and informed as possible and I am in no way advocating sticking our heads in the sand when it comes to violence and the fact that many countries are much more violent than our own. But I honestly think the cons out weigh the pros of viewing the very gratuitous images that make up many of the submissions. These images are not something that can ever be viewed passively; they elicit strong emotions, as they should. But to me it seems the danger of seeing so many images like this, without any connection to the actual event works to desensitize and disconnect the viewer from the story, from the reality. It becomes about the extremes of the violence and not about the people experiencing it. I would venture to say that most people who witness extremes acts of violence wish they never had and while those of us who have not witnessed such things are in enviable positions I don't think we can make any of that right my looking at these images and pretending we can understand.

And I do think you have to address the issue of exploitation as well. Even if the photographer has the best of intentions in bringing this image to the world (which I don't always think is the case) I think it is always a fine line that is walked by anyone who would displays images from a culture in which they are only an onlooker. This issue was brought to light recently with the death of the Georgian Olympic Luger who's accident was caught on camera. This video was played online and on most major news broadcasts. I didn't watch it online, where I first saw it - as I usually, when given the choice, choose not to view things I feel are inappropriate and sensationalized - but out later that night I saw it playing on the screen in a bar. While this video is not particularly graphic, it is disturbing, to be watching a video that ends in a real living persons death; not a movie on tv. It this case I think the question of exploitation is obvious, news agencies knew people would watch, as it was tragic and shocking. There was little regard for anything other then sensationalism. Afterwards most people (news agencies included) agreed that it was in bad taste but at that point people had gotten what they wanted from the story anyway. I can't help but wonder though if that has been an American that died that day if maybe the broadcasters would have thought twice about plastering that video all over the airwaves.

These are my feelings on this topic, I can't go as far as to say that for no one is exposure to images of extreme violence beneficial. If you live in denial about what human beings are capable of then perhaps some of these images would educate you. But for most cases, I think it is ok to say that yes, sometimes seeing what it's really like can be too much. Because in the end most of us are just looking at pictures we can't truly understand and have little new to take away from them.

I think the quiet power and heartbreaking stillness of this years winning photo shows that turbulence can be portrayed without graphic violence and with a much more haunting and effectual message.

I'm working on a post I swear...I'm working out the kinks. Look for it tomorrow!

...

I totally had another blog planned for today but at the gym this evening a much better alternative presented itself. I know the gym is the topic of probably too many of my entries but what can I say, it's consistent gold.


While in the locker room collecting my belongings after my workout I over heard this conversation. To the best of my abilities I have recounted it below.


Girl 1: sitting on bench in a bikini, "Oh my god all the girls at Mario's work are in love with him."

Girl 2: standing, drying off, wearing a fancy red bathing suit, "Um, yeah but I'm sure you are prettier than them"

Girl 1: "Yeah, of course but still. I'm way prettier than them, obviously."

Girl 2: "Hehe, you're so pretty. We are both prettier than most people."

Girl 1: "I'm so pretty, not right now but you've seen me with makeup so you know how pretty I can be."

Girl 2: "We are obviously the best our boyfriends are ever gonna get so I would not worry"

Girl 1: "Of course"

Girl 2: "You're pretty even now. We are prettier at the gym than most people are made up."

Girl 1: "Haha, I'm prettier than Karisa (not sure if that was the actual name), even when I'm trying to lose weight. I'm prettier than her even when she looks her best."

Girl 2: "We are prettier than her in the dark" (I think she got confused here and wanted to clear up that she did not think she looked better in the dark, so she rebounds with this) "I mean she is even ugly in the dark"

Girl 1: "Do you think Karisa is uglier in the dark or in the light?"

At this point I had to leave as someone can only get their clothes out of their locker so slowly and not attract attention. Though, I wanted to stay and listen to their thoughtful debate of which lighting made this person less attractive when compared with them. Rest assured that this conversation probably went on awhile after I left, I would put money on the following exchange taking place, "Your the prettiest" "No, you are!".

I discovered this little time wasting gem while looking for bridesmaid dresses today (don't worry Rachel, I don't think you are going to pick out anything like these for us).

Open

This weekend I drove out to Arizona to visit family who were vacationing there. Driving through the southwest is an experience that I would recommend to everyone. I first experienced it this way when I drove across country through Utah, Nevada and parts of Arizona (I think, things got a little blurry at this point in the trip, if you have ever driven across country I think you will understand). Having grown up in the northeast this area of the country is the polar opposite to what I was use to, not only directionally but it terms of terrain. I find both these areas of the country equally beautiful but in very different ways. The beauty of a forest, lake or country side in new england is more subtle, the elements that make it breath taking are more in the details. Leaves, streams, trees all need to be explored, discovered to be truly enjoyed. These elements draw you in and make it possible for you to lose yourself in the serene. Walking through a forest I almost always end up sitting down, listening to the sounds, watching what can happen when you sit patiently. Maybe it's just that I grew up with the country but to me desert beauty is much more dramatic.



Driving up the 15 to interstate 40 you come around a bend where all of a sudden the hills on the side open up and you see, out before you, miles and miles of openness. Mountains in the distance with smaller rock formations a little when driving), even though I'm on a freeway with lots of other people all I can take in is the vastness and the feeling of being very small against all that space. As I drive on the scenery does not change too much, unlike new england, where even the country has signs of life in almost every corner, here you could literally imagine you are the only person (sometimes when there is no traffic you are). Though of course in reality it is dead silent, when I look out over the desert, the mountains, hills and rocks are loud. They emit deafening sound that grows louder the longer you focus on them and let yourself be made smaller and smaller by the empty space.



Where as this beauty can be over powering it is also refreshing to be in a space where your significance seems so small. To let yourself be surrounded by the drama of the terrain.