After reading this article about Neutral Milk Hotel's lead singer it caused me to spend some time thinking about creativity and crazy people.

[Note: you should read the article; then what I'm gonna say will make more sense.]

I'm always so inspired and fascinated by people like Jeff Mangum. He is one of those people with this amazing level of creativity that literally consumes everything about his life. He creates amazing music but it can't be argued that he is at least a little bit crazy. So what is it about the eccentric that makes them so gifted. Maybe they are literally so free from the norms of society they are able to break through to something most people can't. I also think what the article was saying about the fans being selfish is very interesting. When Jeff creates music it takes so much from him that he is severely emotional affect by it. So much so that he can't see himself creating another album because of what it does to him mentally. But that emotional output is what makes his music so good. It's a sick cycle.

As much as I realize I would never want this, I can't help but think that I would like to know what it is to be that creatively free. To make something that emotionally affecting. Even if it did make me a little crazy.

how I started off my day...

Who invented the cat-call? Seriously, I want to know. Many, many years ago did some drunk guy call out 'hey babe, lookin' good' to some girl walking by and then somehow every guy around him was like, 'damn I bet that is a good way to get ladies'. Well its not. I'm sure it did not work for the first guy who tried it and it is still not working today. I say this from the perspective that it has never worked on me or anyone I know. Perhaps there are some women out there who do actually sleep with every guy who calls to them from a street corner/parked car/moving car/balcony or any other place where they can be heard. To those women I would say stop fucking up my theory (actually I would probably say a lot of things to them; not the least of which would be 'please stop') .

I realize this is not an original rant...women are always pissed about this, but I think we have the right to be. If I was walking to the train this morning wearing a leather mini-dress with thigh high boots I would at least be able to understand why the gentleman (I say that sarcastically) sitting by the street felt to need to say to me 'hey mamacita' as I walked by. I say understand but probably not really condone. I mean if you are dressed like that you ARE looking for attention and I can't really feel that bad for you. However, nothing I was wearing featured leather or could be mistaken for something a stripper would wear so I don't see what provoked that comment.

Going back to why men do that. I mean really...has it ever worked? What makes men feel the need to comment on women passing by? I realize it's generally only sketchy guys (and really drunk ones) who do this so I'm sure what motives them is something I can't even comprehend (nor would I want to). But every time it happens I inevitably spend part of the day thinking about why. Not so much that I'm mad (though it does piss me off) more because I can't understand it.

Sorry that was long...

Also, how exciting to live in a city where I can be cat-called in different languages.

Election Anonymous

I think I'm addicted to reading about the election. At first I thought this was a good thing. Reading is good, being informed is good - where's the down side right? Then I realized there is no way I can continue this level of enthusiasm until November. I'm starting to get burnt out and it is only February...

But this realization did not stop me from reading two articles about it online today. One about Obama's voting history in the Senate the other about McCain and some lobbyist. And frankly I think it was all things I have read before just mashed up in a different way. I'm not sure how this happened, but I'm sure it has something to do with me being neurotic.

blahh

I feel restless lately. I’m not sure what it is. I need a change. We are planning on moving within the next month and a half (or so) - that will be a good change. And so over due.

I’m starting to miss the diversity of things I did while in college – not the actual going to class part, just the different things I was involved in. I know there are things I could get involved in here, but my lack of motivation is a problem. Every time I start to think about when and what I would get involved in I somehow end up talking myself out of it. Which is lame. I’m also really starting to miss being involved in theatre. That is something that takes a pretty large time commitment and I’m just not sure how to figure that out with my current work schedule.


On a related side note – I wish I did not rely so much on ‘new and different’ things to make me happy. Whenever I start to feel this way I always find myself thinking about things I want to buy (a camera, a computer etc.) and though those things are something I would use they are not really what will fix this bored/restless feeling.

Mexican Serenade

I'm not usually one to judge other peoples sex lives; normally I say whatever you’re into is just fine. However when it is 2am, you live in the apartment next to me and what you are into is loud horrible Mexican romance music I'm gonna have something to say about it. Especially when this is not the first time. So it's Saturday night about 1:30am when I decide to go to sleep, I lay down and all of a sudden I hear it. FUCK. My crazy neighbors are playing that music again. This is about the 3rd time I have heard it (not all these times was I trying to sleep so I have a little tolerance for it). Now I guess I'm just assuming they are having sex since it's usually late at night when I hear it, it's turned up really loud and the music has a distinctively cheesy lovemaking quality. Not wanting to spoil the moment I think I will give them some time (I'm a considerate person). But after the 5th time hearing the same song (I guess that one is really sexy - too bad it is all in Spanish and I have no idea what they are saying) I decided it's either their sex lives or my sanity. So I bang on the wall (it's now almost 2am)...Nothing. Fucking Bitches. I wait a few seconds and hear that same song start up AGAIN. I bang louder. Finally they turn it down so that I barely hear it. I climb into bed feeling a little crazy...I'm pretty sure I had nightmares about being attacked by a group of Mexican musicians.


Also maybe I'm just not romantic but I don't understand wanting to listen to some super cheesy melodramatic music while having sex. I would not be able to keep a straight face.