Last night I decided to go running in my neighborhood after work (by decided I mean forgot my gym clothes at home and realized if I went home I would never leave again to go to the gym). I had gone running in my neighborhood before but never at night and not that often so I was not familiar with the routes exactly. Lets just say what ensued was an interesting experience.
I started off fine (or as fine as I can ever be while running), I was going down a pretty main street, things were basically well lit. Let me say now that I was aware that LA has an issue with sidewalk consistency and I don't just mean what it is made out of or how level it is (which is an issue also, see below), I mean they have issues with consistently having sidewalks at all. So perhaps it should not have been as startled when mid stride I realized that I was no longer on the sidewalk, it was gone and I was falling. In a swift move of agility I managed not to fall into the dirt pit that had taken the place of the now nonexistent sidewalk. Ok, I told myself just be more vigilant, sidewalks are an unnecessary luxury I said and kept going. Over the next few blocks I became pretty good at transitioning from sidewalk to busy street to dirt path (seriously though LA, dirt? How did that even get there). After awhile though I was growing annoyed and I could see up ahead that the sidewalk completely disappeared for what looked like forever. I saw a little side street ahead and went for it, those at least usually have sidewalks.
So I quickly crossed the street and walked into what was apparently a scene from Friday the 13th, owing to the complete lack of street lights and the eerie light coming from inside the houses. No problem I thought, now I'll just run a little faster. Which was easier said then done since, yes there were sidewalks here but I think they must have suffered some sort of structural damage in a earthquake at one point since they shot up in weird angles in places and had been patched more times then seemed possible or logical. Right, so I just have to pick my legs up higher when I run to keep from stumbling (hopefully) since I can't see at all what I'm about to step down on. Awesome, I love exercise. Run, run.
What the fuck was that? Oh, you have your sprinklers on, that's cool. I was getting pretty hot. At least that explains that creepy hissing noise.
So at this point I'm sweating, running with my legs kicking up unnaturally high and slightly damp from the sprinkler. In other words having a great time. I start to head back on a much better lit and fairly well sidewalked street, the next time I decide to go for a run I know where to come (ha, I can't even say that is a straight face). I finally get back to my apartment excited that I survived.
Now that the weather in LA is nice I would like to think that I would be doing this running thing more often. But lets be honest that was not fun. And it's not just because running for me is never exactly fun. I'm pretty sure that LA Fitness pays the City of LA to keep the sidewalks and roads a mess. It's all a giant conspiracy to keep people from exercising outside - LA wants its citizen inside running on treadmills like god intended.
